No stitches, just platelets and will power
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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