After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize