Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
