We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
