Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
