if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm way too hungover for life right now
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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