Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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