He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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