please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
