I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
