apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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