and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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