i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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