I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It's just like the Real World with babies
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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