I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
