I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize