THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
