I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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