i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
