Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
