Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
