yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
