She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
