Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
