There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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