I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
