I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
zippers are such a cool invention
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
