Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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