The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
