I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
