jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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