...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
