Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
