Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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