um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
