i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Randomize
