I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
