I feel great
I just peed on a car
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We got so high we made milksteak
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
