Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
