I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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