i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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