Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she peed on how many people?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
