I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
