Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize