those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We need a shit load of segways right now
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
