That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
