Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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