I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
