All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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