hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
