I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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