i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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