my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
