a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Banned from zoo.
Again?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
