Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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