Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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