I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
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