first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
