Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
