If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
